The Canadian Tuxedo: an appreciation The Creation of Fashion

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The Canadian Tuxedo: an appreciation

Posted July 4th, 2011 by Brock Cumpston No Comments »

Forget the red and white; true Canadian patriotism is expressed with blue-on-blue

Tonight, at the Drake General Store , there’s a little party in launch of Levi’s by Opening Ceremony. Or perhaps it’s Opening Ceremony by Levi’s. Same diff? Anyway, it’s from 6 to 9 pm, the beer is from Duggan’s Brewery and, if you try on a pair of these new jeans, you’ll be entered in a contest to win a Canadian tuxedo.

Now, don’t tell me you don’t know what a Canadian tuxedo is. It’s easy: you wear jeans, and then you wear a jean jacket. Or a jean shirt. I think the moniker was meant to poke fun at our back-country asses, but joke’s on everrrrybody else, because denim-on-denim is basically the best thing since real maple syrup on waffles. And, as of this time last year, it’s actually a major fad. But don’t let that stop you from wearing it. Take inspiration/warning from the illustrious, shamelusty history of the Canuck tux.

Madonna on the cover of Out Magazine, 1984
Pro tip: you can trace 93 per cent of fashion trends back to Madonna if you look long enough and only in Google Image Search. While her Out-fit here is not what I’d call “good,” she’s totally nailed that crucial third piece of the Canuck tux: an expression that says “yeah, I’m wearing denim AND DENIM! WHAT?!” So, 9 out of 10 maple leaves.

Samantha Fox in 1986
A mega-popular Brit pin-up who decided the next best thing was recording pop songs ”) Samantha Fox is one of the first truly terrible celebrities. A proto-Heidi, if you will. Still, I can’t take my eyes off that rip placement, can you? 6/10.

Aaliyah circa 1994
An overall bib with exactly matching jeans? That takes guts. Or in this case, a distinct lack thereof. All hail Aaliyah, a perfect 10/10 forever, but let this look rest in peace.

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake at the 2001 American Music Awards
Oh yes they did. 2/10. You can’t take the Mississippi out of the girl, but what in the blue is JT’s excuse?

Kanye West on the street in 2009
Not to be out-denimed, Mr. West adds a chambray shirt to his jean jackets and jeans. What would Marc Jacobs say? “No.” 4/10.

Matt Damon on the red carpet in 2008
It only looks like Matt Damon took the scooter to get some milk, turned right instead of left and ended up on a red carpet. In fact, he’s quite the jean queen, seen everywhere from restaurants to movie sets looking kind of like your dad. Sigh. This really takes the “damn” out of Damon. 4/10.

Alexa Chung at a fashion show in 2010
If you’re Alexa Chung—tall, incredibly lithe, footloose and fat-free—you can wear fucking anything. Still, she’s done it right as ever, putting a sky-light, very-new-looking shirt against darker, worn-in skinnies. Looks fresh, if not so daring; after all, ’twas last spring and double denim was on runways from Ralph Lauren to Chloe. 9/10.

Jay Leno leaving Subway in 2010
Meanwhile, if you’re a fifty-ish dude with more than one chin, don’t even. This is why “style rules” are so much bullshit. 1/10. Team Conan!

Kiefer Sutherland walking around New York last fall
A Canadian in a Canadian tuxedo. A Canadian who is Kiefer Sutherland and, I’m sorry, is hot. Look at this guy! He’s smoking a cigarette, stopping a bomb plot on his flip phone and wearing two denims—all in the same photo. 12/10. You heard me.

Charlize Theron on the street last week
OK, so this is how you should wear your national costume—with pride, sure, but, more importantly, a little Farrah Fawcett spirit. Here’s a faded-looking western shirt half-tucked into crisp, indigo, ankle-length jeans and finished off with perfecto white oxfords. If Ms. Theron would just give Timberlake his hat back, she’d be a 10/10.

The Creation of Fashion